I have never been a very negative person. I've found faith in God easy ever since I was a child, and I've never once questioned the profound mystery of the gospel. But like Satan did so long ago, in a beautiful garden, he crept into my heart when I least expected it and began to whisper words of doubt. In all honesty, this scared me. I felt depressed, I felt like a failure who was giving up on the one thing that I knew, above all else, I could not give up on. But mostly, I felt like I couldn't tell anyone. Not my husband, not my closest friends, no one.
"They will be ashamed that you might doubt. They won't understand. They'll be angry for you're weakness."
Lies. But God is good and he had a plan. He knew that I would hear the lies, and he knew that I would listen, at first. But he also knew that by doing so, he could reveal his glory to me. And this is what he has instilled in me, even when my world (as I know it) is failing me, God is not capable of failure. It is what makes him both magnificent, and it is what makes him horrifying. His word is hope. His presence is peace. His gift is love. His grace is filled with mercy. He does not need us, nor does he depend on anyone; human or otherwise.
He alone hovered over the deep void, it was his melodious voice that made the waves of the ocean to speak, his whisper that shook the ground until mountains rose up tall and fierce, his breath that coated the universe in the lights we've named stars.
He alone hovered over the deep void, it was his melodious voice that made the waves of the ocean to speak, his whisper that shook the ground until mountains rose up tall and fierce, his breath that coated the universe in the lights we've named stars. He reminded me that this broken world lacks the wisdom to stand alone, or to spin unaided. So many years ago, when age was still young, sin snaked in to make faith to waver, hearts to break, people to lie, to steal, to cheat and to die, money to run out, slander to spread, false idols to be built up, only to fall again. Sin cast death into man's life, and with it came all the pain of suffering. Sin has made this world feel hopeless. So what do you when your friends fall away, your family passes on, or you just can't get past the depression that seems to bind your soul into a deep perpetual darkness? You hope. Not in this world, or the people in it. You put your hope in the Great Promise.
"Let us hold fast to the confession of our hope without wavering , for he who promised is faithful." (Hebrews 10:23)
Can I just say that again? Let us hold fast to the confession of our hope without wavering , for he who promised is faithful! We NEED a savior to see us through our struggles. To bring us past the shame of doubt and into the light of sanctification. We NEED our God, we NEED his promise of the haven from death, hunger, loneliness, and suffering that can be found only in His own presence. And because he is faithful, we can be confident in that hope. The hope that in his presence, bodily suffering may continue, but the life of your soul will flourish.
As long as God keeps this world spinning, there will be pain to endure. Pain that sometimes casts a shadow around your heart and weighs you down until you can feel it in your very bones. But take heart. Know that in his own suffering he told us of his great glory. When he hurt so much that he turned his face away from his own son, he turned his face toward you and me, and in so doing sealed our hope with his own tears, his own blood. So that when we suffer, because we will at some point suffer, we might see how much greater his promise is. In our moments of deepest pain, we might turn our own faces toward him and know what he gave up in order that his face could look down at us with out reservation and see us as blameless. Blameless! Perfected, because his own son let his own blood fall down and he willingly stood in the place of our sin.
"And at the ninth hour Jesus cried with a loud voice, "Eloi, Eloi, lema sabachthani?" which means My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" (Mark 15)
"They will be ashamed that you might doubt. They won't understand. They'll be angry for you're weakness."
Lies. But God is good and he had a plan. He knew that I would hear the lies, and he knew that I would listen, at first. But he also knew that by doing so, he could reveal his glory to me. And this is what he has instilled in me, even when my world (as I know it) is failing me, God is not capable of failure. It is what makes him both magnificent, and it is what makes him horrifying. His word is hope. His presence is peace. His gift is love. His grace is filled with mercy. He does not need us, nor does he depend on anyone; human or otherwise.
He alone hovered over the deep void, it was his melodious voice that made the waves of the ocean to speak, his whisper that shook the ground until mountains rose up tall and fierce, his breath that coated the universe in the lights we've named stars.
He alone hovered over the deep void, it was his melodious voice that made the waves of the ocean to speak, his whisper that shook the ground until mountains rose up tall and fierce, his breath that coated the universe in the lights we've named stars. He reminded me that this broken world lacks the wisdom to stand alone, or to spin unaided. So many years ago, when age was still young, sin snaked in to make faith to waver, hearts to break, people to lie, to steal, to cheat and to die, money to run out, slander to spread, false idols to be built up, only to fall again. Sin cast death into man's life, and with it came all the pain of suffering. Sin has made this world feel hopeless. So what do you when your friends fall away, your family passes on, or you just can't get past the depression that seems to bind your soul into a deep perpetual darkness? You hope. Not in this world, or the people in it. You put your hope in the Great Promise.
"Let us hold fast to the confession of our hope without wavering , for he who promised is faithful." (Hebrews 10:23)
Can I just say that again? Let us hold fast to the confession of our hope without wavering , for he who promised is faithful! We NEED a savior to see us through our struggles. To bring us past the shame of doubt and into the light of sanctification. We NEED our God, we NEED his promise of the haven from death, hunger, loneliness, and suffering that can be found only in His own presence. And because he is faithful, we can be confident in that hope. The hope that in his presence, bodily suffering may continue, but the life of your soul will flourish.
As long as God keeps this world spinning, there will be pain to endure. Pain that sometimes casts a shadow around your heart and weighs you down until you can feel it in your very bones. But take heart. Know that in his own suffering he told us of his great glory. When he hurt so much that he turned his face away from his own son, he turned his face toward you and me, and in so doing sealed our hope with his own tears, his own blood. So that when we suffer, because we will at some point suffer, we might see how much greater his promise is. In our moments of deepest pain, we might turn our own faces toward him and know what he gave up in order that his face could look down at us with out reservation and see us as blameless. Blameless! Perfected, because his own son let his own blood fall down and he willingly stood in the place of our sin.
"And at the ninth hour Jesus cried with a loud voice, "Eloi, Eloi, lema sabachthani?" which means My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" (Mark 15)
Is it possible that at our ugliest, the ugly that Jesus took and replaced with his beauty, making himself the grotesque sin,that his father's heart hurt so deeply that he couldn't bare to look at him. For a brief moment Jesus felt the weight of all being lost. The consequence of breaking the father's heart is that he turns his face away. But the greatest war of all time was won for you the day that Jesus died. The war is won. God is victorious! But the battle, the daily struggle is still going. God hasn't called all of his troops home yet. And just like any war, even after the enemy surrenders, soldiers must remain to wade through the rubble and discern the friend from the hiding foe. Families still remain separated as the enemy tries desperately to take with it as many good men as it can. In the bitterness of loss, the enemy is greedy. And so we suffer. But we do so with the joy of the Lord written across our banners. Christ didn't raise up the white flag that day, he passed on the banner of victory! |
When you can't see or feel the Lord around you, prayer is your battle cry.
When you can't see or feel the Lord around you, prayer is your battle cry. Pray at all times and arm yourself with the Word when you feel your faith being tested. And no matter what the cost, no matter the suffering, remember that at ninth hour God turned his face towards his adopted children with the promise of hope on his lips.
Ephesians 6 16-18 "In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one; and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God, praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication..."
When you can't see or feel the Lord around you, prayer is your battle cry. Pray at all times and arm yourself with the Word when you feel your faith being tested. And no matter what the cost, no matter the suffering, remember that at ninth hour God turned his face towards his adopted children with the promise of hope on his lips.
Ephesians 6 16-18 "In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one; and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God, praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication..."